Post #5: A sudden and short realization

Waking up one day and realizing that you have seen the world without really realizing what is right here at home isnt something you take lightly. It brings up images from which you can begin comparing and contrasting all experiences had in the different places you have been in. A beach in Miami next to one in your own back yard, a theme park in Washington next to your local fair. It seems a bit pointless, especially when its more of a psicological fault rather than one of a physical nature, but its hard to evade. Point is that this is actually spurs from the lack of experiences shared in my own local area. Ones that while might seem pale at first, I end up regreting. During my last post I talked about how it seemed like I had lived for the first time, and how stark the contrast was when I got back. But it lasted for more than just a couple of months, to this day I still look at how I interact socially with great doubt in that this is the best I can do. It is in no way more noticeable than with her. This beautiful nightingale soared through my life to arrive at my greatest fears and embody them all. To an extent, she represents that which made me wholly at peace once, but makes me vulnerable now. And they are both feelings that fulfill my happiness. To be more specific, they are my happiness. By being at peace I can rid myself of all my problems, but by being vulnerable I can focus on what makes me strong. It makes want to work harder for her and be the person she might need me to be one day. If she is the doubt that haunts me to an unending oblivion, then an eternity down the stix seems pretty sweet about now.