Post #15: Just a simple story, about the greatest year ever.

So, here I now stand. In the plain between my sanity and my heart. Its been exactly 97 days since this all began. And I cant help but believe that it can go on for 97 more. Ive warped my reasoning to the point where I myself hardly recognize the way I now aproach my problems. It used to be so simple. Identify the problem, isolate the problem, get all Jack Donaghy on that problem's face (its 30 Rock you guys!) Point is that it was as simple as asesing what I have done wrong and correct it. But nothing is that simple any more. Even my simplests of problems have to be analyzed and over complicated that they would make even the most seasoned thespian walk of stage in a manner that would probably offend Axl Rose. Point is that she has changed my perception of life itself. The very simplicity of life which I once took for granted now becomes the very fuel that pushes me for her. At any other given moment I would have denied the oportunity to apreciate something in the hopes that it would be replenishable one day. Its not the case anymore. I cant give up something in hopes that one day I would get it again. If I would still see it that way, I would have never know what a wonderful woman she is. Being with her opened my eyes to the beauties of nature like nothing before it. And even if she might not see it, she has been the single most impacting entity in my existance. Every laugh I have shared with her, every frown she has talked through me, and those moments when a holy prank placed us together felt nothing less than seconds now that I think about it. I wanted it too hard, and so I lost it before I could realize the eternal sunrise that smiled in front of me every day till December 28th, a date that will forever be known as the one moment where I doubted no more. The one moment I let my guard down and wasnt scared. She is the only person who has inspired that type of confidence in me. I let my every wall around me melt for her, and I could have never felt safer. She is my muse, my guiding song into sactuary. And I followed it all the way into oblivion, but I will follow it over and over again. Cause no matter how many times she guides me into a hollow ebony with a smirk, I will keep on to the day when she finally lets me know she feels nothing for me. Isnt it funny? I still dont know! She assures me that no matter how many times I guess im not right. I will trust her this one last time. Through this blog I have lived through every stage of the most interesting year in the history of humanity, and I know that its not over yet. So I will ride into the dawn, waiting for her call, my lovely nightingale. You know where to find me dont you? So how about it, you ready... Monique?