Post #1: Introduction

Throughout my life I have never thought I was lacking anything. True, the development of my romantic habilities isn't exactly one I'm proud of. Yet for some reason I felt fullfiled. I never looked back at things left unsaid in agony. Rather in joy that I was brave enough to say what little I did so that my soul did not bear the weight of my cowardice. I remember this as the first summer when my heart was free, as light as a feather, for it was the first time I was not a slave to some unattainable desire, but to my immediate whims. I was happy. For a while that is. Its an ackward little feeling, funny too. The one feeling, that the person sitting two seats to your right would on any given moment hold your pride, your heart in her hands. I didn't know who I was talking to at first, all I know is that she wasn't normal. I found out who she was, no, it is better to say I remembered who she was. Not only that, I remember what she did to me. What I wrote off as a childhood crush had blossomed, and she was as beautiful now as she was 10 years ago. The first girl I ever wanted, I still wanted. "What was wrong me?" I though to myself over and over before realizing I had never wanted something so much as her. I still dont understand why I feel the way I do, but I take this oportunity to explore it day by day. Only then can I realize what I trully feel. But one thing is for sure. No matter how much I think about her, the only word that comes to mind is love.